now to then
condescend and pretend
rip my soul
leave me alone and alone
now I'm gone and I'm gone
relieve the pain from the bruise
and now I'm warm and I'm warm
my self defense is against
prick me again and again
turn the page and the page
new thoughts of life and the life
some more of pain and of doubt
that for now just for now
decides the fate of my fate
Awesome Poem, bruv!!
Wow...this is really really good. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this type of stuff...you're only 16?? Wow...Very nice I'd give ya a thumbs up but I dun remember the emote for it and I'm too lazy to move the mouse down there and wait for it to load on my slow computer...*grumble*
you really really think so like really really like yeehaw man! woooo! lol. thanks. i was going to go read your stuff. and i went to your site but im at school and it wont let me look at them but i'll check it out tonight!
Really well written and has a great flow. You can feel the emotion running thru the entire thing
I like this alot - to my mind it certainly lends itself to lyrics? I think it would work geat in a musical style such as Tool/A Perfect Circle.. rhyme can often seem too contrived or childish but here it fits just right - I also enjoy the rhythm, it has a slight offbeat where the longer lines come in. Lovely
hey, thanks for the great comment! and about the lyrics thing..thats very timely of you to say. i joined this site to post some of my poetry for my band to read. im in a band, i'm trying to help them write a song. maybe this one will work for us. but anyway, thanks so much for the comment!