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compare
now to then
come share
condescend and pretend
lie says
rip my soul
bloodshed
leave me alone and alone
quick wit
late response
bullshit
now I'm gone and I'm gone
stuck still
self abuse
small pill
relieve the pain from the bruise
mind ache
head storm
crash break
and now I'm warm and I'm warm
screaming of
nonsense
plagerize
my self defense is against
your eyes
dont pretend
those lies
prick me again and again
vent hate
fire rage
pure's fate
turn the page and the page
love for
blunt knife
mental crack
new thoughts of life and the life
wont quit
burn out
self inflict
some more of pain and of doubt
open mind
ask how
answers find
that for now just for now
stay stuck
scream hate
dumb luck
decides the fate of my fate
2003
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:iconrightfield:
Rightfield Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2009  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Awesome Poem, bruv!!
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:iconaloneinthelight:
AloneInTheLight Featured By Owner May 13, 2004
Wow...this is really really good. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this type of stuff...you're only 16?? Wow...Very nice I'd give ya a thumbs up but I dun remember the emote for it and I'm too lazy to move the mouse down there and wait for it to load on my slow computer...*grumble*
Reply
:iconshimmy420:
shimmy420 Featured By Owner May 14, 2004   Writer
you really really think so like really really like yeehaw man! woooo! lol. thanks. i was going to go read your stuff. and i went to your site but im at school and it wont let me look at them:tears: but i'll check it out tonight! :weed::boing:
Reply
:iconthezeez:
TheZeez Featured By Owner May 6, 2004
Really well written and has a great flow. You can feel the emotion running thru the entire thing :)
Reply
:icontaynt:
Taynt Featured By Owner May 6, 2004
I like this alot - to my mind it certainly lends itself to lyrics? I think it would work geat in a musical style such as Tool/A Perfect Circle.. rhyme can often seem too contrived or childish but here it fits just right - I also enjoy the rhythm, it has a slight offbeat where the longer lines come in. Lovely :)
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:iconshimmy420:
shimmy420 Featured By Owner May 6, 2004   Writer
hey, thanks for the great comment! and about the lyrics thing..thats very timely of you to say. i joined this site to post some of my poetry for my band to read. im in a band, i'm trying to help them write a song. maybe this one will work for us. but anyway, thanks so much for the comment!
Reply
:icontaynt:
Taynt Featured By Owner May 6, 2004
my pleasure -_^
Reply
:iconflattened:
flattened Featured By Owner May 6, 2004
ooo nice. :)
rachel
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